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I could only think of what I wanted but did not have – a child of my own.
There is homework to be supervised, meals to be prepared, fees to be paid, visa paperwork to be sorted out. If happiness is a temporary phase of euphoria akin to the period after a dental extraction and before the anesthesia wears off, the answer probably depends greatly on the timing of the question.
The constant chaos of a buzzing household takes up all my energy while I wonder what happened to the busy single mom that I once used to be, calm and in control. The statement “pursuit of happiness” that had inspired me once upon a time, implied that happiness was a treasure to be found. Happiness was linked to success and success meant getting what you wanted – a job, a house, a relationship, a car, a title. At this time, there is too much riding on what we do as a family in the next few weeks and months, to come to a conclusion.
The first time I saw falling snow was also the first time I saw the majestic Lincoln Memorial in Washington DC.
I had landed in America, a few weeks before Christmas, as a naïve twenty-two-year-old bride.
The faint breeze highlights the doubts I have regarding settling down in Singapore. Optimism is a state of being and being an optimist doesn’t automatically translate to being happy.
How do I fulfill myriad demands while trying to find a job? A vital step, a giant leap actually, is required to move from optimist to happy, to transform the permanent state of being to the temporarily elevated state of happiness.Falling short on material goals translated to unhappiness. Much of our obsession with feeling happy, being happy, making ourselves happy causes us to be anything but happy.I do have a nice home, a supportive husband, two children and still have the Ph. “Happiness is a state of mind” proclaims a popular bumper sticker.In this expensive city, we are trying to make ends meet on one salary.The girls have their own rooms and different ideas of what they want in it.I whole-heartedly jumped into the American education system.Many happy moments accumulated from acquisitions and accomplishments.That critical step, one I can and do control, is enthusiasm.Optimism allows me the liberty of missing some targets without being too critical with myself for doing so. You can’t gauge a person’s happiness but you can’t ignore enthusiasm.No wonder happiness has been defined, studied, dissected, pursued and even measured by a metric such as Gross National Happiness in Bhutan. We have early risers, late sleepers, sports enthusiasts, sedentary sloths, neat freaks, junk food lovers, bookworms, and binge watchers of TV shows.The first order is to figure out a dinner menu that appeals to the fitness-focused husband (who is always hungry), an appearance conscious teenager (who eats like a bird) and a health-unconscious preteen (who refuses vegetables). I don’t control it just as I don’t control my heartbeat.