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Mass at the outer edge of the larger body is captured by stronger gravitational pull of the smaller but denser body."It is best to refer to a figure using it's label rather than it's position on the page.For example, rather than saying "in the figure below" or, as is done here, "The following diagram illustrates...", it would be better to say "in figure 1" or "Figure 1 illustrates..."Give credit where credit is due.They give a description of what gravity waves are, a brief history of gravity waves, and a brief note as to why attempts to detect them are important. It contains, however, too much information in too little space.
Without focus, papers tend not to flow well and are harder to read and understand.
Although it is not necessary to write the word "introduction," at the start of your paper (in bold, underlined, and written in day-glow red) , it is important to start off the paper with an introduction to give the reader the necessary background and to explain the motivation for the paper.
The sentence "As in any wave-like signal, a gravitational wave has a characteristic frequency and amplitude" conveys little information.
Worse, it interrupts the train of thought --- the sentences before and after really need to go together. If a wave "chirps," it can't be described by a single frequency or amplitude.
As a result, it flows well --- it is easy and enjoyable to read. It could be a little more focused, and could use a stronger thesis statement. (It's not very flashy, and it wouldn't make a good advertisement for a TV show, but that's not the purpose of the abstract.) It clearly, concisely, and in order tells us what the paper will discuss.
It is obvious from the text that the authors have a fairly good understanding of the subject, and for the most part their science and reasoning is sound. If I were doing research and wanted to know specific things about a specific topic, this abstract would let me know right away if the paper contains what I'm looking for. Take a look at the first two "introduction" paragraphs.When you borrow a figure from another source, you should say something like, "Figure reproduced from " or "Figure reproduced from reference 8" in the figure caption. The transfer of mass between two gravitational wells ." leaves the reader wondering if the actual figure comes from reference 8, or whether reference 8 simply discusses the topic or contains a similar figure which inspired this one.It is not enough to just put in a reference without explicitly stating that the figure comes from that reference. In the first paragraph of the fourth page the focus and flow is diminished a bit.I'm really hoping that you will provide me with some better examples this semester!Also note that the style and formatting of these papers don't conform to the standards we are using this semester.Most of you have probably written less than a handful of term papers.Writing clearly and concisely is more difficult than you may think.These are some of the better papers that have been handed in in past semesters.Note, however, that these papers are far from perfect.One of the things I dislike about this paper is the way in which the figures are presented and referenced.Each figure, table, etc., should be labeled with a number and a caption, i.e., "FIG. Artists depiction of mass transfer between two gravitational wells.