Finally the essay says ' The encouragement derived from an interesting class often spills into other classes as well..a student is interested in a class, he's encouraged to work harder.' Here we have an example.
Now I believe this example could be a little bit more specific by talking about a specific student or perhaps specific classes and maybe that's why one of the scorers gave it a five instead of a six.
Another great thing that this essay does is ' Although the idea of free tutoring sounds attractive, offering a wider variety of classes to attract students of every stripe is thus the preferred method.' So here we have that counter argument.
So it introduces this idea 'although the idea of free tutoring sounds attractive,' but then it goes ahead and dismisses it like we said in the counter argument episode is the way to create that strong counter argument.
These are all the reasons why this essay earned an 11 which is where you want to be, ideally scoring ten to 12 on the ACT writing.
Now let's take a look at sample essay number two.We're going to lump some of those indicators together just for easy sake because they really go hand in hand.So let's talk about how it did with 'task and position.' This essay did a really solid job of setting up the task, showing an understanding of it and then taking a strong position.If you look at the end of body paragraph number one it ends with the sentence, ' Furthermore, their grades improve in other classes as a result, brightening their paths to graduation.' And then it picks up body paragraph number two with the reference the same paths, says 'what may not brighten those paths is free tutoring.' So instead of going to those canned transitions like, 'on the other hand' or 'now I'm going to talk about' it just hits this idea this reference to these paths.So that's a really strong natural transition that really strengthens the organization of the essay.So we're going to take a look at three spots in this essay where this writer really does a great job.The first place the writer tops is, 'the biggest reason behind students dropping out of school is not inability but apathy..my not brighten those paths is free tutoring.This stubborn blight has refused to go away despite of a variety of methods enacted by schools to get rid of it.In a certain school, two of these methods have been proposed-either offering free tutoring or offering a wider variety of classes.The one really nice thing about this is that essay number one is a great example of using natural transitions.And we talked about this in an earlier episode, but here is just a really solid example.