Essay English Language Funny

Essay English Language Funny-50
In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which, an alarm goes off by going on. English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all. A neighbourhood in Rome Cat scan........................ Searching for Kitty Cauterize........................ Made eye contact with her Colic...............................

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And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth, beeth? Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?

The study of paintings Bacteria........................... Back door to cafeteria Barium............................ What doctors do when patients die Benign............................

My first job was working in an Orange Juice factory, but I got canned. Sign on the back of another Septic Tank Truck: "Caution - This Truck is full of Political Promises Artery.............................. Quicker than someone else Fibula............................

3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse. 7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present. 15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line. (a) Kansas City (b) Heartbreak Hotel (c) Blueberry Hill 5. Who is generally given credit for originating the term ''Rock And Roll''? In 1957, he left the music business to become a preacher: (a) Little Richard (b) Frankie Lymon (c) Tony Orlando 12. ..'' (a) cause there ain't no answer for a life without booze (b) cause there ain't no cure for the summertime blues (c) cause my car's gassed up and I'm ready to cruise 24.

6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.. 12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row. 14) The buck does funny things when the does are present. Name the song with ''A-wop bop a-loo bop a-lop bam boom.'' (a) Good Golly, Miss Molly (b) Be-Bop-A-Lula (c) Tutti Fruitti 10.

That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.

In Bobby Darin's ''Mack The Knife,'' the one with the knife, was named: (a) Mac Heath (b) Mac Cloud (c) Mc Namara 9.

Though the British Raj over India is no more, they left behind the gift of English, which still firmly holds sway in India and elsewhere.

Now English is a funny language, it borrows heavily from various languages and keeps evolving, it bends a lot of rules and seems to go by no logic at all.

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