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If you want a job in the moisturizer industry, the best advice I can give is to apply daily. Did you know the first French fries weren’t actually cooked in France? One is really heavy and the other is a little lighter.
Why was the guy staring at the orange juice container? I used to have a job at a calendar factory but I got fired because I took a couple of days off. I needed a password eight characters long so I picked Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.
” A man walks into a bar and orders helicopter flavor chips.
Did you hear that Arnold Schwarzenegger will be doing a movie about classical music?
Did the disappointed smoker get everything he wanted for Christmas?
People don’t like having to bend over to get their drinks.
” I replied, “It’s alright, I’m patient.” How do you make a Kleenex dance? “Doctor, I’ve broken my arm in several places” Doctor “Well don’t go to those places.” What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? The bartender says, “Sorry we don’t serve food here.” I got hit in the head with a can of Diet Coke today. It was a soft drink How does a penguin build it’s house? 1forrest1 If I had a dime for every book I’ve ever read, I’d say: “Wow, that’s coincidental.” Why did the Clydesdale give the pony a glass of water? Well, the ceremony was kinda boring, but the reception was great! It took me a while to work out it was just a Fanta sea. They’re going to go by the name Fed-Up from now on. What did the time traveler do when he was still hungry after dinner? What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? I was going to tell a joke about dogs, but it’s a little far-fetched 5/4 of people admit that they’re bad with fractions. It’s pasteurized before you even see it My wife once asked me “How do I look? I told her “With your eyes.” What happened when the two antennas got married? I dreamed about drowning in an ocean made out of orange soda last night. When my wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo, I had to put my foot down. What do Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in common? I got so angry the other day when I couldn’t find my stress ball. What do you call a man with no arms or legs in the middle of the ocean? A woman is on trial for beating her husband to death with his guitar collection. What’s the difference between a poorly dressed man on a tricycle and a well dressed man on a bicycle? My wife is on a tropical food diet, the house is full of the stuff. What do you call a factory that sells passable products? I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it. Our son once said “Dad, I was thinking…” and I replied “I thought I smelled something burning.” A nurse told me, “Sorry for the wait! A termite walks into a bar and asks, “Is the bar tender here?